i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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