Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am spending my child support on dildos
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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