No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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