I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize