I want to stick my p in your. b.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
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He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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