i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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