saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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