I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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