Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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