is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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