Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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