Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize