I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i drank out of a bidet.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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