Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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