shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize