the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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