boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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