I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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