hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize