I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize