I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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