One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize