come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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