Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can I color on your dick again?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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