Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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