Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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