remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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