I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
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They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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