I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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