I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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