Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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