On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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