Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
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Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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