i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
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like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
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I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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