Your mouth is God's brothel.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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