wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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