What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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