Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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