so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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