so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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