Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize