we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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