I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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