That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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