Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
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Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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