lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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