i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize