God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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