i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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