R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize